| Musings at the beginning of '09 |
[Jan. 22nd, 2009|07:57 am] |
I've put off writing anything for some time now, limiting myself to my home journal for anything randomly personal and whatever worth musing about. January has been a slow month, at least in this industry. Work has been crawling at a snail's pace (a very very lazy snail). Yet, in the midst of it all, the first month of the year is just about a week away from coming to a close.
Hence, the cliché -- "time flies." Most of the time, we often don't realize how significant the moments are. We may realize it later on. Or not at all. 2008 has been quite an eventful year, in both the good and the bad ways. Seeing as how I've got the extra time, let me count the ways:
The Highlights... :)
1. Year 2 and a half at Blue Bottle
The second year here at work is undoubtedly more significant to me than the first. When I finished up my first year, it came with the check that, "Hey I'm really doing this and I'm good at it!" While it cemented my position in the "grown-up" life, making my own money and everything, I still believed that the other aspects I live with did not have to change, or did not change at all.
Wrapping up year two brought me down and I realized that, in hindsight, I have changed and just did not notice it. Through the experiences, the work, the people I've encountered -- I've grown. And learned. And it's all good.
There is always that subconscious resistance to growing up and facing the world, seeing it through a deeper set of ideals. As children, there was a profound innocence that kept things in check and made reality seem less intimidating and daunting. As grown-ups, this innocence slowly gets tucked away in one's inner reaches, making it seemingly irrelevant. And yet, I believe that it is childhood that has always kept me grounded, hopeful, and optimistic.
2. Valentine's and the What-Came-After
So it was actually the second Valentine "celebration" for me. To be honest, I'm not an avid fan of Valentine's Day. But similar to my second year at work, '08's was definitely significant and meaningful. Not to mention, the start of many yummy dinners and food-hops! :-)
And the What-Came-After did come after. Hardly expected. Scared me half to death. Did not happen in the romantic, cliché-ish scenario that most other people can talk about over and over in excited wide-eyed manner. Almost made me turn and walk away from UCC Corinthian Hills in diva-ish-never-looking-back fashion, never mind that it was dark and the next option was to crash at Tristan's in Corinthian Gardens.
But. So there. Yeah. Thank goodness for panic-driven, quick-thinking, tongue-tied moments. ;-)
3. Beach Bumming
Yes, I ventured beyond Manila with the rest of Blue Bottle and onto the beach -- right on the silky white sands of Boracay, no less. It was my first time to get an authentic tan (with unsightly bright red burns in some areas) and to wander around in a bikini. Oh yeah. It did feel like running around in underwear. So sue me.
4. The Bikini
Like I said. I bought a suit and used it, too. And I have the photos to prove it. *gasp*
5. Quality Time
Working outside the confinements of the family business and having a boyfriend automatically widens your circle. On top of this wider spectrum, you have to balance out time with the friends you've had and loved for most of your life. Being "out there" has made me appreciate more than ever the people I grew up with; those who understand me the most and who are most patient with me.
Cake Night. Steak Night. Girls-only-bonding nights. Get-together-at-the-Galleria-sale. Christmas Party. Birthdays. Coffee break. Inuman. Whatever. They all mattered. :-)
Yes, I can be random and emo and I know that they'll still be around for decades to come. 'Natch. Hell, yeah. It's a lucky break that my boyfriend has and needs his own bro-mancing moments from time to time. Haha.
6. Knots Intertwining
I'm a sucker for romance and happy endings. All my friends know that. So the last highlight for '08 are the news of acquaintances and friends getting engaged and tying the knot. :-)
It still comes as a surprise to me at how many of the people I know are deciding to settle down and to start their own families. At first, I thought, "But we're still so young!" Then later, I'm reminded that it's just about that right age. In essence, it's our turn and almost our time. We went through the sweet sixteens, the proms, the graduation balls, the swanky 18th birthday celebrations. Now, we are following heart-melting proposals and hearing of classic romantic weddings. Before you know it, it will be christenings, one after the other, and first, second, or even third birthdays.
(These, of course, do not apply to those already married. With children.)
So yes. Time flies. Here's to the next flight! |
|
|
| TAGGED! :) |
[Mar. 31st, 2008|05:52 am] |
|
1. the person(s) who tagged you is ...
Kat (Kui!)
2. (your relationship with him/her is ...)
She's my sister haha!
3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..) · Ambitious · Driven · Uber-talented! (painting, drawing, sports, baking, writing -- you name it, she can do it!) · Shy · Reflective 4. (the most memorable thing he/she had done for you)
Well, we live together so there's just too many, through the years, from day to day... :)
5. (the most memorable words he/she had said to you)
Do all the One Tree Hill quotes count? Haha! ;)
6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will)
Again....SHE'S MY SISTER! That would be so wrong on ALL levels...
7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be)
Uh. NO.
8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...)
Suffice to say that she has become my "enemy" several times, on and off!
9.(if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be ...)
We may be sisters but we're very, very different from each other haha!
10.(the thing you want to do for him/her now is ...)
Help her get into the college she wants :)
11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...)
Crazy and kooky, but also focused and driven.
12. (how you think people around you feel about you)
"Good Girl" haha! (diba?)
13.(the character you love of yourself is ...) I'm an idealist ("the world is a happy place!") and I love to dream (even of the far-fetched and impossible)... 14.(on the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are ...)
Very, very impatient and I tend to be self-conscious.
15. (the most ideal person you want to be is ...)
Just enough to still be me. :)
16.(for people that care and like you, say something to them ..)
Many thanks for keeping up with me ;) I love you guys! :)
17. (Tag 10 peeps!)
1. Kat (my shobe who tagged me so I tag her back!!) 2. Oliver (Cheng) 3. Oliver (Ang) 4. David 5. Annie-girl 6. Dianne 7. Joanne 8. Leslie 9. Rhon 10. Malou (who is no.6 having a relationship with?)
No one. I think? (do tell do tell!)
(Is no.9 a male or female?)
Female
(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?)
That's would be weird! 0.o
(How about no.8 and 5?)
Still weird! @.@
(What is no.2 studying about?)
As far as I know, he's done studying :)
(When did you last have a chat with no.3?) Oh wow...not in weeks, I think...
(What kind of music band does no.8 like?)
Senti, mellow, music that strikes a chord in her.
(Does no.1 have any siblings?)
Two of them -- one being me! Haha.
(Will you woo no.3?)
Haha nooooo.....
(How about no.7?)
Hell no!!! (no offense, jo hehe) (Is no.4 single?)
Oh yeah! ;) *hint hint* to all the single ladies out there!
(What's the surname of no.5?)
Chan
(What's the hobby of no.4?)
Photography, ultimate frisbee, graphics....hey dave, did i get that right? ;)
(Talk something casually about no.1)
Kat. Hmm. Kat's crazy, funny, a bit kooky...amazingly talented and driven. Even if she's my little sister and 7 years younger, she's always the one knocking the most sense into my head just when I need it. :)
(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?)
I love Les like a sister...but not those kinds of feelings. Ew Ew Ew!!!!
(Where does no.9 live at?)
North Greenhills! Practically my neighbor! Haha.
(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?)
Haha nooo, not even friends!
(Is no.6 the sexiest person in the world?)
Oh, definitely! ;) Go, Di! ;) |
|
|
| That Silver Lining |
[Mar. 10th, 2008|04:29 am] |
Things don't always have to be so tough and you don't always have to try so hard. When something out of the ordinary happens at the most unexpected time, you don't always have to think too hard either, just trying to figure out the sense in it. If you do, you miss it completely, because you refuse to believe in its reality; that it can be that simple and that it just is.
It's true that when it rains, it pours. But when the sun shines, it's powerful and bright. And if it's a particularly lucky day, there's that hint of a cool breeze that goes with it. But look -- a silver lining! Now that wasn't so bad, was it? :)
---
"I have studied many times
The marble which was chiseled for me--
A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbour.
In truth, it pictures not my destination
But my life.
For love was offered to me, and I shrank from its disillusionment;
Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid;
Ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances.
Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life and now I know that we must lift the sail and catch the winds of destiny,
Wherever they drive the boat.
To put meaning in one's life may end in madness,
But life without meaning is the torture of restlessness and vague desire--
It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid."
- Edgar Lee Masters |
|
|
| Uh, hello? |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|07:16 pm] |
It's difficult, at times, to articulate what you want to say to the person you want to say it to. You can go over it countless times in your head, but when you're there, it's as though the entire speech you rehearsed in the shower, at the grocery, on your way to work, on your home just disapparates into nothingness. So when you do try to say what you want to say, it comes out incoherent and with little sense unless given time to organize.
I suppose what's more difficult than that is knowing that you need to talk to someone but you don't know who you can to talk to, in the first place. A placement for a fairy godmother is in order.
|
|
|
| ICAn Survey |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|05:59 am] |
Stole this from my sister's LJ. Goodness, ICA seems so long ago... :)
---
You used your ID to cheat during Chinese before
– Nope...gotta be more creative than that!
You bonded with Mang James
- Of course -- Mang James lets me sneak into shows that require actual tickets ;)
You’ve fed cats in Gate 5
- Nooooo.....cats are icky......
You wear white socks with mostly colored design and CLAIM its predominantly white.
- Only during P.E. days before. Otherwise, there was no way to hide it haha!
You fold your sleeves up then the teacher gets mad. After that you fold them back up.
- The teacher never got mad at me...hmm....
You've had a ghost experience in the CR
- I thought I did.....then later, I chalked it up to my very vivid and wild imagination playing tricks on me.
You've had one experience in school. Period.
- Oh hell yeah.
Your jogging pants' seal is either scratched off or being scratched off on purpose.
- That's what you get from taking P.E. with Ms. Militante...
You collected KISSES (that colorful thingo) in grade 3 or 4
- The chocolate???
Tamagotchis and digivices were awesome.
- Hell yeah! I used to feed them during Chinese, Fil, Science, what-have-you....
POKEMON CARDS.
- Uh, no.
You've laughed at those funny cardboard signs in the Big Burp. (ex. for sale, Hamburger with bread)
- Don't remember...it's been eons!
Your arm chair's table is broken.
- Yes, I was unfortunate enough to have had one that was cracking apart.
You've carved random things on the seat in front of yours.
- Who hasn't?
You've written in the CR cubicles with magic marker.
- No way....good girl! ;)
You believed the dwende story in kinder and grade one
- Oh yeah...creepy stories...
You've fallen off the platform stage thing in the KP area.
- Tripped, then bumped my way down.
You've taken out the lock on the swings to make them err.. swing.
- Is that what doing that is for?
You laughed at the giant host that was bigger than the Priest's head. (Mother General's mass)
- We never had a giant host.
You've made funny nicknames for Lao Shi.
- Plenty for each one.
You've argued with Lao Shi about Shuo Hua and Writing.
- Tried to -- and lost. Then I tried again. Haha!
You've ATTEMPTED to count the holes in the DTASC's ceiling.
- Along with the rest of the class! :P Over and over and over.......
You've poked holes in the AV room's walls.
- Ah, the good ol' days.... ;)
You've eaten in Computer class.
- Sky Flakes, I think...
You didn’t do your work in computer, just browsed the Internet and checked Multiply.
- At that time, there wasn't even an Internet to begin with. Old school!
You've screamed in Chinese Speech without Lao shi ever noticing.
- Nah...kept drawing on the desk, then erasing.
You've made fun of teachers.
- Again, the good ol' days!
You cant go more than a day without buying coke or C2 during recess.
- Coke in plastic :P But nah, was not a fan of softdrinks.
You took the One Line policy seriously for 60 seconds. at the most.
- What policy was that?
You've tried sliding down the rails of the grade 3 staircase
- Thought about it, but then I was too intolerant of self-inflicted pain.
You've stolen a book from the Library and they didnt care.
- No, but I've forgotten to return one and graduated anyway! ;)
You've had more than 3 IDs.
- How can you have more than 3 ID's???
You text in class by either A. using your bag. B. you memorize the keys so you keep it in your pocket. or C. in your pencil case or book.
- I couldn't. I had that big-ass Nokia 2100 hahahaha!
YOU DRAW ON YOUR NOLI BOOK’S PICTURES.
- No, was too busy trying to understand what the heck Simon was babbling about.
You've been caught eating in class.
- Nope. Reading Archie comics, yes.
You KNOW everything in school is crappy but overpriced.
- Just overpriced... Food not crappy, just...well, I wouldn't trust the hygiene-control.
You went crazy over Choco Mucho and Jungle Juice.
- Ooh, Jungle Juice!
You've colored stuff with correction fluid.
- Yeah.
You write on your shoes.
- Uh, no.
You wear a jacket everyday.
- In our day, there was no freakin' need, except for the blessed AV room periods.
You go to Ash Creek a lot.
- Ash Creek came about just when we were leaving. Sad.
You sing random mass songs after a Mass.
- Even at lunch.
You've slammed into a door while observing the "one line policy."
- What the heck is this policy???
You own an ICA jacket.
- Nope, we never had one, back in the day. But I'm proud to say that my sister designed the first ever ICA jacket! :D
Your assignment notebook is either completely blank and dubbed useless or all the pages are torn out and used for doodles.
- Of course it wasn't.
Your CLE notebook is full of stuff that have no relation to CLE.
- My CLE notebook used to be just.....about 5 pages a quarter. At most.
You DON’T double your Filipino verbs like "LETS MAKE TUSOK TUSOK THE FISH BALLS" or "LETS AKYAT AKYAT THE STAIRS"
- No way. What are we, without class? Please.
You've read Twilight.
- Ya!
You write on the CR mirror with soap.
- Why....?
You went crazy over Snowee.
- Back when it cost just P5!
You went crazy over the school's french fries
- All thick and soggy and oily....yep, that's the one!
You buy juice from the juice corner in the N&W canteen almost everyday
- What's the N&W canteen?
You've eaten the hotdog, barbecue, and siomai in the N&W canteen more than you can remember
- Don't remember this canteen...
You don't REALLY pray during the Angelus, you just stand and let your mind wander
– I used to stand and read Archie comics opened flat on my desk.
You've slept in class
- Guilty as charged.
Ms. Bondoc has scolded you - maraming beses na.
- I was her most frequent visitor for nosebleed.
You've mocked Sr.Dina
- Never tried. Her speeches were too long to be remembered.
You scream once you get the announcement that classes have been suspended.
- Oh hell yeah! :D
You know who AKAM is
- Everyone knows Akam!
You know a stranger is an ICAn even if she isn't wearing the ICA uniform
- It's a talent.
You’ve crammed on the day of the test…and passed.
- ICAns are the best at it, after all. ;)
|
|
|
| Hearing Things |
[Feb. 28th, 2008|09:04 pm] |
Sometimes, you don't need to know everything. There are some events -- past and present -- that you just don't need to know about. So what if it was told to you in complete and utter innocence, with no intention of making you squirm uncomfortably? In my case, I took a deep breath, then told myself that it means nothing.
And it really doesn't. I suppose it's just me being all praning, considering that it's not the most ideal situation to live with but I decided to do so anyway. I'm beginning to learn that while it's safer to know as much information as possible, there are times when not knowing can lend almost as much security. I think it's the curious cat in me that turns me into too much of a thinker at some points in time.
-----
In other news, it's Friday once again, the 29th of February. There is going to be another rally this afternoon, composed of both religious and student groups. Hoping to be able to leave work earlier than usual so that none of us get caught in the middle.
|
|
|
| Undecided |
[Feb. 28th, 2008|02:30 am] |
It's cold today, both in and out of doors. Very cold. It has also been drizzling here and there since morning. What a day for me to leave everything (jacket, umbrella, etc.) at home -- not intentionally, of course. If Oli reads this, his eyes will go big, he'll shake his head, and go, "What!? Geeen....you'll get sick...." So in an effort to be a tad warmer, I've consumed an entire mug ("tub," considering how unusually big mine is) of chocolate-coffee and am now working on a tall Caramel Macchiato. So far, it's working. Thank goodness. Note to self: Never take sweater out of bag. Ever.
It's strange, though, how the weather these past couple of months seem to be delayed. Delayed in the sense that the cool weather we are experiencing right now used to be that that the "-ber" months bring. December in February. What an interesting concept. Don't get me wrong -- I love weather like this, minus the drizzles. It reminds me (minutely) of Vancouver in October or San Francisco any time of the year. I suddenly miss all those trips that I used to take with my grandparents, back when there was still such a thing called "sem break" or "summer break." A change of scenery is always one of the best factors to "finding yourself" again, even if it's just for a while.
Incidentally, overcast skies of late make for great reflecting backdrops, complete with tunes made for chilling out. Malou and I had lunch in Cyma earlier and I was telling her about my current reservations. I'm just not content. It's so hard to be when the space you find yourself in most often seems to be in a stand-still, like there is no moving forward. It gets harder when what you do everyday does not seem to offer much consolation anymore and even worse when those involved don't even notice that there's something wrong. The most difficult thing is to struggle with your own frustrations and questions, not truly understanding why things are the way they are.
At the end of the day, you just want to go home and find your happy place, whether it be a nice dinner with your family or a long light-hearted phone call with a close friend.
It's not that I'm too soft-hearted that I let everything people say or do get to me. I get it -- you can't please everybody. I've learned to turn a deaf ear to most of the negative static I encounter. And while not everything you hear, read, or see has to matter, it makes an impact anyway, no matter how small. In the end, it just can't be helped.
But -- oh, look! -- a silver lining. Cliché as it may sound, things get easier when, at your worst, you find those people who would sit with you for hours, just listening -- just because. Make me laugh genuinely after a long long day and give me a good long hug and you know that I'll be just fine. Things always look better in the morning...
So it's unusually cold, for the last week of February. Predicting that once Holy Week rolls around, the weather will shift drastically from cool to scorchingly hot. At that point, it will be "Hello, Summer!" Do I seem like I'm trying to end this entry on a high note? Well, I am. I like to think that after every reflective moment, I am able to realize some answers, as well as a few lessons, along the way. After all, isn't that the point of reflections? I think that "change" as a conclusion is what differentiates reflecting from just being plain "emo." :)
Fine, I do have my moments. But hey, who doesn't? Although...all this still doesn't change the fact that I was thisclose to walking around in a possible impending downpour.
|
|
|
| The Atenista Test |
[Oct. 14th, 2007|09:28 pm] |
If your blue-bloodedness would be graded, what would your final mark be? Place an X inside the box if it applies to you.
[X] Bought something from the A Shop (can you believe that the first was a pair of sneaks??)
[X] Got an A for at least one subject
[X] Understood the definition of Hell Week
[X] And regretted finding out what it meant
[X] Has taken/currently taking PE 101
[X] Crammed three papers in one night - thank goodness it didn't kill me...
[X] Gave a class presentation that you now regret
[X] Know at least one photocopy lady because of profs who love xerox machines - ate alma!:)
[X] Got an F in a long test - disturbing memories... :(
[X] Promised to do better
[X] Exerted effort to be exempted sa finals
[X] Striven for bonus points
[X] Slept in the library - while reviewing for an accounting lt, no less! haha.
[X] Ate lunch outside the caf - while walking...
[X] Got a Jesuit for a teacher - fr david (ew.) and fr dacanay (i love him!)
[X] Ate at least in 10 establishments in Katipunan - almost the entire strip...hehehe.
[ ] Got an attack from higad - afraid if i did...
[X] Watched BlueRep and TA plays
[X] Preferred Manang's food over the Caf's
[ ] Screamed your lungs out in Araneta for the Blue Eagles - i screamed from my living room :p
[X] Puked at Math 19 and 20 - just Math 19.
[ ] Went to CERSA night
[X] Signed-up for an org - several, i should say haha.
[X] Joined an org that has a screening - "screening"
[X] Became active in your org/s
[ ] Joined a socially-oriented org
[X] Played cards during long breaks
[X] Found immersion trips meaningful
[ ] Went to school in flip-flops almost everyday
[X] Went to school in "pambahay attire" - something close to it, i think... :P
[ ] Went to school wearing chucks
[X] Hated your random number - immensely!!!
[ ] Been to Drew's - what. never heard.
[X] Have an organizer - i wouldn't have survived without one. ;)
[X] Went to class without showering after PE - it was yucky but at least it was an aircon class.
[ ] Wanted to tell the guards to f*ck off
[X] Had accidentally seen a make-out session
[X] Used consultation times properly
[X] Brought an umbrella but it didn't rain
[X] Left an umbrella and then it rained always
[ ] Went to school trying to make porma but no one noticed
[X] Went to school looking crappy and everyone noticed - oh hell yeah.
[ ] Camwhored a lot
[X] Saw artistas and completely ignored them
[X] Spoke in a conyo way
[X] Found a Chinese girl/boy hot
[ ] Nagulat sa lumulubog na block sa SOM-overpass walkway - what does this mean?
[ ] Had a block party
[ ] Cut class to watch a movie - our flight in ROTC saw a movie while everyone else was training on the field wahahahaha! :)
[X] Have at least 25 Ateneans on your YM list
[ ] Became an FFL (Fucking Freeloader)
[ ] Traded dvds of American tv shows with your friends
[X] Went to Eastwood for nothing
[ ] Wore aviator glasses in Ateneo
[X] Ate in class
[X] Became EMO for no apparent reason in school
[X] Thought friendster is a bust and multiply is SOOO much better
[X] Voted in the Sanggu elections
[X] Read the Guidon and Matanglawin
[X] Tried to avoid the guards because you left your oh-so-precious ID - there is actually a science to this.
[X] Engaged in deep-thinking while in Ateneo gardens such as Zen and SOM walkway - especially when orals is just 24 hours away!
[ ] Bought coffee from Figaro - there's Figaro???
[X] Nakapaghang-out sa isang MVP room - back in the day, we called it Colayco. :)
[ ] Became an official YouTube addict
[X] Knew why Jesuit education is priceless - absolutely :)
[X] Learned a lot about life due to your Philosophy and Theology subjects - 'till now, the lessons pop in and out of my head from time to time. no regrets hehe
[X] Went to Ateneo even if you had no class/org work, and just so I could get out of the house
[X] Knew at least 7 famous Ateneo Alumni
[ ] Laughed at Tapdancers
[X] Ran out of ink due to numerous papers you had to pass
[ ] Maximized the use of your flash drive
[X] Celebrated diversity in the Ateneo
[X] Kept OrSem memories
[X] Watched a movie with fellow Ateneans that aren't from your block
[X] Has the hots for a fellow Atenean
Worth 3 points each:
[ ] Attended simbang gabi at Gesu
[ ] REGed2Vote
[ ] Screamed in Araneta for the Blue Eagles
[X] Know at least 3 Ateneo cheers
[X] Memorized and sung " A Song for Mary" whole-heartedly - shempre naman! :D
[ ] Got to be on the Dean's list for at least a semester
[X] Prayed to St. Ignatius of Loyola
Worth 5 points each:
[X] Called yourself an Atenean
MY GRADE: 69 :( - Oh well, still Blue & White through and through ;)
Grading System:
A = 92 - 100
B+ = 86 - 91
B = 77 - 85
C+ = 69 - 76
C = 60 - 68
D = 50 - 59
F = 49 and below |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2007|12:04 pm] |
I just came from a vacation 2 weeks ago so I shouldn't even be feeling this way. Unfortunately, I do. For starters, last week could have been WAY better. Things could have gone more smoothly. Deadlines could have been met more vigilantly. People could have been less melodramatic (myself included).
Then again, since when has anything gone the way that they are ideally supposed to? |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
all_talk's journal